I remember it well.
Back in the late 50s I was just a fresh-faced, wet-behind-the-ears greenhorn
from over the pond, touring the States with Johnny Cash.
Johnny was the star of course but also on the bill were:
Slim Vittles and his Cosmic Playboys
Warren 'need any drugs?' Jenkins (who was popular backstage)
and Gospel combo The Rustbelts.
This left little time for a wannabe shmuck from England.
Johnny Cash told me straight: "Son, you got three minutes"
A rare audience recording has recently surfaced
of my allotted slot at the Brand New Opry in Bitchville, Alabama
(with backing from The Rustbelts) which I'd like to share with y'all.
It's called 'The Dark Forest Hypothesis'
Later on I tried to sell the song to Johnny Cash but he said "fuck off".
At least I think that's what he said.
It was hard to tell as he was coughing up blood at the time.
Trivia corner: Mickey Rooney was in the wings during my performance
and I'll never forget his words to me as I exited the stage.
He said "Titus...you're shit"
Happy days.
regards
Titus
When I met your mother I asked her for a date
She was fine in every single way
Long before we married I took her to the woods
Let me tell you what we saw that day
It was a blue-faced, five-eyed, God damn lizard
With a friend in tow dressed up like a wizard
I was scared, I thought that we were gone
There was an untold tale with an end and a middle
As a ten foot goldfish played on a fiddle
We were fine and we're just travelin' on
Later on that evening we went to the police
I got the notion they just didn't care
No one would believe us, they all laughed out loud
But I maintain the thing was really there
There is a second version of the chorus but I didn't use it on the demo
because the Frau Luxor doesn't liker swearing:
There was an evil, goat-like, odd motherfucker
But I know my Faust and I won't be a sucker
I was scared, I thought that we were gone
Pigs flew by in a race with The Devil
And the antique chair had a groove and a bevel
We were fine and we're just travelin' on